Some years ago I heard that many times people act out of inspiration or desperation. It sounded pretty true to me but I don’t think I fully understood what it meant until it actually happened to me.
If you have been following me for a little while now you know I have shared a little about my divorce and how it not only affected me personally but It also took a toll on my business.
Exactly a year from today is when I finally understood that saying. I always thought I was motivated by my desire to help business grow and my passion for what I do. I felt INSPIRED to do more and more and I always had a different idea of something new I wanted to do. Until one day I acted out of DESPERATION! Not a good idea.
I was desperate. I didn't know what to do. My income had dropped to almost ZERO and like all of us, I had to pay the bills. I was blinded. Many times before I was able to sit down and plan. I’m all about planning and having a process to make things happen but at that moment it was as if everything that I knew got completely wiped off my hard drive. I kept creating different scenarios in my head on how to get back up and none of them seem to work. Time was running out and needless to say, money too. I WAS DESPERATE!
So I did what I hadn't done in nearly 6 years. I got a job. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a job. Before becoming an entrepreneur, I worked mainly in the nonprofit sector and I loved it. I learned so much from it, but this time, because of this annoying thing called desperation, I ended up working at a fast food place overnight. Yes, I was so discouraged that I felt that was my only option. I dragged myself to work for three weeks. The most tiring, empty weeks of my life. I had always had the privilege to choose what I wanted to do with my life but in that period of my life that's the only solution I found.
One day, as I was giving my roommate a ride to work, she asked me how was work going and if I liked it. I think I mumbled and then stayed quiet for awhile. That simple question turned my world around. What was I doing????
It took me three weeks to wake up and get my feet back on the ground. During those three weeks I felt miserable, yes, it got me to pay my bills but It was doing something that I hated. I felt stuck, my inspiration was gone and I was ready to give up.
I keep thinking for days about the simple question my roommate asked me. And that's when I decided to leave that exhausting job and focus on my business. I had all the tools I needed on me, my knowledge and my reliable macbook.
The rest is history… I wished. Everyday I remind myself that I have the ability to do anything I set my mind to. As long as I do what needs to be done, things will work out for me. It’s not about working harder but working smarter. I learn that desperation does not lead anywhere but it taught me to appreciate even more the privilege that it is to work for myself.
Today as I'm writing this I'm grateful for everything that has transpired in this past year and now I know that without a source of inspiration I would be doing something that I hate for the rest of my life.
Next time you are in a bind, ask yourself. Am I acting out of inspiration or desperation?